Change is constant

I don't think I need to preface this post by saying that I have been meaning to write and blah blah because by now I think the only thing which is certain about my blog is its inconsistency and uncertainty. I changed the template, look and info on my blog today for the first time since I joined and blogger tells me that I joined in 2006. I wonder why did I stick with the old theme for so long. I guess because change is scary, change is uncomfortable but change is constant. My life has changed so much since 2006, I think it was time for my blog to change. It's funny how reading your old posts can actually make you cringe. I am still proud of everything I wrote, I still own it but as I read through pages and pages of gloom, I realized how things have changed so many times in so many ways in last decade. Gloom has evolved, baby! And has been evolving. Gloom to chaos, chaos to anger, anger to fake determination, fake determination to real discomfort, real discomfort to real pretense, real pretense to silence, silence to a numb pain and it still is growing. I feel that a decade ago, I was so self absorbed in my gloom that I almost celebrated it with every passing moment. I could not imagine my life beyond that painful existence and it got so well integrated in my day to day life, that I began to own it with pride. And pride goeth before destruction. So, gloom was destroyed and chaos reigned. I, now realize that my teenage goth personality blended with heartaches and a limited vision of life and its challenges prevented me to understand and question the whole notion of gloom and pain. So, while I was in pain, I didn't understand it completely. Almost exactly like I am living my life now, but don't quite understand it. By no means, am I bashing at my decade old story of woes but I do know that I have broadened my horizons in understanding the psychological misery and mental anxiety beyond my own heartache. Change is constant and so is everything which is changing. Things change, times change but there is something that they encompass which remains the same and my pursuit is to differentiate between what changes and what doesn't, who bends and who doesn't. It deserves to be mentioned that as I was changing my blog's template and background appearance, the operating system on my computer went unresponsive twice. Most of us don't like change because we possess an extraordinary amount of complacency. Ignorance starts as a bliss and corrodes you inside out gradually. I would say that ignorance is one of the most dangerous subtle traits that humans are capable of developing. It grows all over you and infect all thoughts and ambitions you have till you become so comfortable with its existence that even a mere thought of change sends chills down your spine. Ignorance stagnates you and helps you develop an inertia that you can't overcome unless you accept some kind of change. And then, you are just stuck in this vicious cycle of ignorance and inertia. Coming from a society which absolutely detests change yet begs to be reformed - I have this urge to understand how and when change(also called transition) in life is important. Just as a side thought, I am equally interested in transition after life, but I will save that discussion for some other day. My attempts to change what I "felt" should be changed left me frequently angry and persistently depressed, and then I realized that I needed a change in my attitude before I set out to understand if and when a change in the widely accepted norms of our highly complacent society is required. Although, changing my attitude didn't help my anger and frustration but it did teach me a lesson. And I can only hope that it would further give me strength and inquisition to go on a quest because I never want to stop challenging complacency. And once again, the things I owned ended up owning me.